Tuesday, July 9, 2013

Living in Japan: The hardest part

***Yesterday I was writing about my Japanese test which I had taken earlier Sunday. I planned on posting those thoughts tonight when I finished but tonight my heart is on something different, so I'm going to write what's on my heart.

A cousin of mine (narrows it down to about 70 people) messaged me, asking a few various questions, and one question she (narrows it down to about 50... Uncle Paul didn't help with these ratios) asked was, "What's the hardest part about living in Japan?". It was a really good, basic question, with a plethora of answers but one I had yet to address on The Otherside. Maybe I should write about the great things about living here first, but I'll write about my favorite things here in Japan soon. I believe the hardest things here in Japan are really blessings I just happen to be farther away from right now. 

There are definitely the small things, many of which I took for granted living stateside but now realize how great they were, the list starts with the most underrated utility device, the garbage disposal, which I haven't seen in Japan. This list also includes my car. Japanese people ask if I just have a bike in America and it makes me laugh. I also miss my road bike, mexican food, American pizza, the ability to easily communicate with people around me, sometimes experiencing loneliness, even worse, experiencing loneliness when I'm surrounded by many people, being called scary by little kids because I have blue eyes haha

***Side note: surprisingly enough, Japan makes really great Asian food, I know, right?? but the western food can be hit and miss, Pizza is mostly a miss, especially when they combine their Asian cuisine with pizza. I'll let your imagination wonder on this one, but you can drift pretty far and still be generally correct


I also miss the ability to sit down, relax and watch basketball and football on TV, and to play basketball. I also miss the running community I had in Oklahoma City working at Red Coyote Running. I enjoyed meeting, talking and listening to many people, and not having to strain or struggle to understand what they were saying, as we spoke a common language (except for those customers who said they only ran in New Balance as they picked up a Nike shoe). This is where the list blends from the more fickle things to the more important, the harder things to live without. I miss my closest friends at Red Coyote, Jeremy, Nick and Tim, who I could sit in his car and talk forever.

I have so many friends I could talk about anything with. It's amazing how many people I am blessed to have truly deep relationships with. This list includes a lot of close family members as well. I live alone in Japan and in Oklahoma I had a tremendous friend and room mate, Casey, to live with. We could talk about anything. There are so many more. It can be especially hard when friends and relatives living in the states are going through important times, special moments like weddings or really trying times like sickness or death. Sometimes, I feel so isolated from friends and family going through tough times. I'm truly thankful for prayer, that our Father intercedes for us and does so much more than we can imagine.

The one, who is the hardest to not be around is my brother Michael. It's bittersweet because I'm blessed we're so close, it may have been different 5 or 6 years ago. Honestly, I look back at the last couple of years, and I've done some pretty cool stuff, but the most enjoyable moments have been, a handful of concerts we saw together (going to Of Montreal was amazing), the big games on TV, Hawaii, just eating with Michael 

I'll never forget the sadness of leaving Michael and Laura's apartment, watching the elevator doors close at 2:30 am, having to swallow the decision to leave for a foreign place so far away. It makes me wonder all the more, how I made the decision to leave for a foreign unknown.

I don't want to make this sound depressing, it's not and it's true, and I would like to keep this blog as true as possible. As Paul says while in Jail in Philippians 4, "I've learned by now to be quite content whatever the circumstances...Whatever I have, whatever I am, I can make it through anything in the one who makes me who I am". In Christ alone we have contentment.

There are a lot of amazing things; blessings I've been blindsided by and some new things I'm really excited about out on this side of the world, I will post about those really soon.

I wrote about this because I thought it would interest those of you reading about me over here. Also, the hardest things teach us where exactly our contentment resides.

***On a light note, I'm learning the only thing better than making a little Japanese 2nd grader (playfully) angry at you is making a little Japanese first grader angry at you. Today I ignored the little ones telling me to play dodgeball and instead kept pretending I thought they were saying to play basketball, so that's what I did. Ended up playing a version of basketball and got quite the crowd chasing me around, pretending they weren't having fun. I guess the pretending show goes both ways.








10 comments:

  1. Hey David. It's been a long while since we've talked, but I saw your blog on facebook and really wanted to comment after I read it.

    I spent the last year in Lyon, France and felt a lot of the same feelings you mentioned! Loneliness in a crowd, dearly missing people back home, missing familiar foods and being able to talk normally.

    I'm not quite sure where you are in the timeline of adjusting to culture and all that, but stick with it! I made some great friends and had some awesome experiences after a few months in France.

    Now I'm traveling with my parents and it's amazing to realize how much I have come to understand this foreign culture and language. Good luck with your adventures and soak it up! You'll have a lot to share when you get back home. :)

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    1. Hey Thanks Glen! Thanks for reading and thanks for your comment! I'll need to check up on your adventure in France! Do you have a blog?

      Yes, I think those feelings are such valuable experiences, as I am learning now. It definitely gives you new perspectives!

      Life in Japan is really good but there are certainly challenges. After my cousin emailed me, asking about the hardest parts, it hit me that I haven't really written about the subject for friends and family following me through my blog. I've been blessed to do some amazing things here, I just wanted to give friends and family some of what's going through my mind, and remains in my heart. I didn't feel I would be doing this blog justice if I didn't include some of the harder things about being so far away, things definitely on my heart.

      Thanks for your comment! I appreciate you reading!

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  2. It's an interesting struggle, isn't it? Loving your old friends, loving your new friends. Enjoying the new experiences and stretching yourself outside your comfort zone, yet missing that comfort zone. Hang in there, keep leaning on The Lord, and keep sharing. Thanks for the glimpse into your experience! Take care!

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    1. Thanks Sarah, yes, I'm feeling torn in both ways, so it's definitely interesting!
      Thanks for the encouragement. There's definitely a lot to be excited for!
      Mito isn't the same without you and your family! I hope the transition back to the States is going smoothly!

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  3. David,

    I am so glad you got the chance to write about the hard things. I am finally getting a chance to read these, my morning read along with coffee at my house in OR! It's pretty unbelievable that I am back from my years in Spain - and I can definitely dig into your feelings and things that you miss. I'm also looking forward to a blog you might write about your favorite things in Japan. That is helpful, because one day you will be writing something about the hardest part in coming back to the US. That's my hardest thing moment right now. I love home, and there are gorgeous things and people, that I am blessed to be surrounded by. But life as I knew it for 2 solid years, a new language to think in, a group of friends that became family - now I'm so far from it.

    We are blessed to know others who understand these cultural changes and experiences. And we are beyond blessed to have these experiences! God is using us in these ways, and it's pretty beautiful.

    All my love,
    Ashleigh

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    1. Thanks Ashleigh! I've been thinking about you quite a bit lately. Actually, when I first heard you were returning to the States I felt a little more crazy for having one less friend living abroad.

      Yes, there are many things I really love about living in Japan so I will start working on that this weekend. I just wanted to give readers a true glimpse into my experiences, both the trying and the wonderful, because God makes both beautiful.

      Returning has always seemed pretty hard, more difficult than going, so I'm interested in your experiences, you should definitely blog about coming back! The way God uses us is indeed so beautiful.

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  4. David! You're experiencing things that will only make you a better friend, brother, person when you finish with this chapter of adventures! When you're feeling homesick, go for a run and let your mind focus on good memories =)

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    1. Thanks Jenna!! I think so, I enjoy it all. The easy and the difficult, Everything has been a good experience. Thanks for your encouragement! Means a lot coming from you.

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  5. I miss you too, David. I'm glad that you get to be in Japan, and it will be great to hug your neck again (maybe at yours or Hannah's wedding someday).

    My baby Asher Jadon is 14 months old now. He's started talking to me on the phone and saying lots of different words. He's walking around by himself and feeding himself at the dinner table. Just like me, he's fascinated with video game controllers. Pretty much anything we're interested in, he's also curious about.

    Asher's name means Happy Grateful. I went through the darkest depression and hopelessness I've ever felt in the middle of grad school, and God spoke to me in that depression as I cried out to him. As I told God how hopeless I was in my loneliness and in the crushing statements my teachers had made to me about my failures, God told me that he could make the woman of my dreams for me out of the ground in front of my eyes. As an encouragement, he gave me the end of a song I had been writing while I was depressed over several months of loneliness. I called that song Hope, because God was showing me that he would bring me through the darkness into his light, and that I could trust in him. I went from poverty and failure to extreme blessing financially and familialy over the course of the next year and a half. Because of God's extreme generosity to my family against all odds and barriers, we named our first son Asher Jadon.

    We're having our second baby in November (Lord willing). Her name is Annalise Marie. Annalise means God's covenental grace. Marie is a family name passed down from Amanda's family.

    We love you! Hang in there, and we'll look forward to seeing you again.

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    1. Wow Travis! I hadn't heard that story before, that's so amazing! I've always just remembered how quickly you got your Doctorate, I didn't understand the darkness God brought you out of! Your story sounds like scripture out of the Psalms from David or Asaph. How powerful!!

      Can't believe Asher is 14 months! I've been in Japan for 15 months now! I'm really excited for Annalise Marie as well! I look forward to meeting them! Can't imagine better parents!!

      Thanks Travis! Love you as well!!

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